| yesterday is gone my heart is singing a new day's song |
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[20 Mar 2007|10:20pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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I hate watching this happen right before my eyes.
I love him so much.
I don't know what I will do without him.
I hate seeing the only invincible person in my life show weakness.
And pretty much fade away.
I have no idea how to deal with this.
I have no idea how to talk to him.
I feel as though if I just ignore it, it will go away.
Fuck, this feeling sucks.
I hate it.
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| Last night was amazing. |
[05 Nov 2006|05:21pm] |
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It consisted of the following quotes,
"Ben Roethlisberger fingers little children."
"This party's whack! Put the cat in the microwave."
"I make so much money, cause I just make so much money!"
"finnnggggeeerrrrr meeeeeeee"
I garuntee my night was better.
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[19 Oct 2006|07:18pm] |
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mood |
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intellectual (haha) |
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God, so these passed few months have been amazing.
I am so glad all these shitty "friends" have been filtered out of my life.
Here is a list. If you are on it, I really don't ever care to see you again, or talk to you. Cause, well, you're a piece of shit.
Luke
Darron
Chris
Isaac
Rian
There's more, but you group right there are the ones that I have written off because you all have and will continue to suck as friends. ESPECIALLY you Isaac and Chris, which I think is awesome. But whatever. If you wanna be stuck up your overly-christian bitch of a girlfriend's ass. So be it, it's your choice. Just keep on listening to that "cultured hip hop" and have your "good friends" tear you down, or drop your friends for a 16 year old nu metal girlfriend. Either reason is TOTALLY justifiable in my book. Actually you know what, this livejournal post mainly goes out to you, Isaac and Chris. The other 3 know I dislike them. But at first I didn't want to just come out and say "Isaac and Chris, you two are not my friend anymore". But the more I thought about it while I was typing, the less I cared about your friendship. Isaac, as you read in my comment to you, how can the "bad friends" be out of your life? The people you PROBABLY hang out with now are EVERYTHING you are against. So does that make you a hypocrite? Or a walking contradiction? Either, I guess. You say that you don't go to shows anymore because you "could care less about all the people there." haha, that shit makes me laugh. You think the people you hang out with now give a shit about you? No. Hey, have you broke edge yet? I hope so. Because that would just be icing on the cake. hahaha.
And I know Chris doesn't ever read this, but he has been a terrible friend for the passed X amount of months, and I tolerated it (not only me, but other people) but not anymore. I will keep it at that.
I know I will get shit for this, but I don't care. The only people that matter to me are the ones I see on a daily, or every other daily basis. And they all respect me, and of course don't give a fuck about you, or anyone you associate with. So They'll look at me, and be like, "whatever, i still love you mark."
end rant
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[10 Sep 2006|06:16pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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So I think I am finally over all this.
I've realized that it will always be out of grasp.
So time to come to terms with this whole mess of what I wanted.
I have accepted it will never be.
Anyway, this weekend was fun, went to see Colin of arabia, and they played awesome. Covered Blood For Blood, Bad Brains, Black Flag, Infest and sheer terror. Colin is an awesome dude. They need to come back to Akron more. Forreal.
Yesterday was the SBB show at the Gyro in Kent. It was fun hanging out with everyone. Even though SBB didn't start playing until about 1130-midnight. They killed it. Forreal, I love their new stuff, and they keep getting better and better.
After that was Nick's party at his apartment. Draft picks got postponed due to difficulties. But The game is a go, even though I probably won't do well in it. But I hung out with some awesome people. Saw some random dude in the bathtub completely naked. Chris tried peeing on him. Rather amusing. I kicked doogies car when he drove by, but I think the car broke my toe. I'm a dumb pollack. Oh well, I had a lot of fun. Oh yeah, at the show, I called this one girl, it was good to talk to her. But yeah, when she picked up I thought Chris said someone had a gun, so I screamed "WHO HAS A GUN!?" haha, what a good way to greet someone I am calling. haha. Oh well, she was a good sport about it. haha, she rules.
Listening to Bone and driving into this almost completely empty apartment complex was rather funny to Chris and I. Probably not to you, but you had to be there.
Also, a bunch of frat dudes thought I was the owner of a 1978 Chevy Corvette, and the dude who owned it, said he was just pumping my gas. haha, that guy rules.
Anyway, this weekend wasn't a total bust, I had fun, saw all my friends. And talked to this one girl who isn't so bad. So yeah, Wasn't a bust at all.
Peace, niggas.
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| From the double glock glock.... |
[05 Sep 2006|05:56pm] |
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mood |
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 good |
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So I got a phone, if you have my number, you fucking are good in my book. If not, ask for it, and we'll see what happens.
My house is crazy, I need to get out. So here's what you need to do people. Steal me. I don't care who you are, or what you do. Dteal me away. I am sick of this place. all it is, is people arguing. It sucks. So yeah, come get me. I am ready.
I am excited for fall. Parties will be popping up all over the place. and people are back in town for school. I really enjoy living next to a college town. That means there is stuff to do on the weeks. FRAT PARTIESSSSSS!!! YEAAHHHH!!!
By the way, Ice Cream Socials are one of the best things to happen in my life.
And I know it's a little late, but Rest in Peace Steve Irwin, you crazy bastard. I love you.
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[25 Aug 2006|07:23pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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I love it.
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[13 Aug 2006|05:59pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
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So saying goodbye to a friend who passed away might be one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. It was terrible. I lost it. :(
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| But one good thing.... |
[28 Jul 2006|01:14pm] |
....I am getting tattooed twice by TJ this week, and possible once by both Maynard and Jesse. So that'd rule.
And my birthday is next week.
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[28 Jul 2006|12:04pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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When most people quit smoking, they get irritable or easily mad. Not me, my friend, I just get sad. and cancel a lot of plans. That's what I do.
Ughh....this is hard.
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| Dear Michigan.... |
[25 Jul 2006|04:56am] |
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mood |
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 exhausted |
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....Why are your roads so weird?
getting home at 5 in the morning sucks. But it was worth it.
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[12 Jul 2006|11:06pm] |
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mood |
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upset |
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Sunday was ridiculous.
I feel as though I lost ONE good friend, because he punched me over something that shouldn't be worth losing a friendship over.
Yes, his girlfriend. named Rian. Sorry, Isaac. But I need to get this off my chest. How is it possible for me to completely forgive you when you didn't even think, you just swung your fist? I didn't think that you could EVER punch me, let alone be in the position where I don't even see it coming. Yes, I still think it is a sucker punch. Am I mad anymore? Yes and no. Yes in the way of you blind sided me, and that isn't cool. Even if you WERE disrespected. After some of the things I've done for you, done for Rian. If you don't know what I am talking about, think Despised Icon. and if you still don't know what i am talking about, think Screwy Louies. and if not, private message me and I will tell you. And no, I am not mad because I know you have a bad temper, I just never thought it would be bad enough to swing on one of you supposed best friends. I dunno.
I can't help but feel betrayed.
That punch punch didn't really hurt me, it hurt our friendship. I hope you know this. And as of right now, I can honestly say I have no respect for you right now. And I have calmed down a lot since I first foudn out about this.
Again, I can't help but feel shit on.
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| CHRIS BROWN'S IN THE HOUSE! |
[06 Jul 2006|03:55pm] |
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Anyway, my 4th of July sucked. Shitty weather, plans falling through. I'm over it.
That's about it. I don't really know what to say.
Other than there's this polish princess who needs to go on a chipotle/starbuck's date with me. Even though I hate starbucks, haha.
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| the worst feeling in the world..... |
[27 Jun 2006|08:14pm] |
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...Is when you go to look for you candy bar, and it's not in the freezer. Then you realize you left it in your car in the hot sun while you were mowing the grass.
I feel so unsastisfied.
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| Laura Szarek.... |
[27 Jun 2006|04:28pm] |
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mood |
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 bitchy |
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You are one of the best people I know. I am so glad my best friend is marrying you.
Plus, who can catch blue gill THAT big?
Not me.
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| My weekend. |
[26 Jun 2006|03:30am] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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Well, my weekend consisted of good people.
Friday; we went downtown and did the usual down there. Saw a fight in the middle of the street. 6 dudes against 2 dudes, and the 2 dudes won. It was rather weird. Ate Fat Billy's (small pizza for 3 dollars, love it)then just made fun of people, met new people. Good times.
Saturday; I woke up at 10ish, had a eye appointment at 2. Then around 3 Frank and I headed up to Euclid so they could have BLOC practice, then we rolled to the show. My Revenge! got added last minute, and of course Crowd Deterrent didn't play, and Taste the Steel didn't. But My Revenge, In the Cut, Search Bloc and Yesterdays Youth made up for it. I got my ass beat by a trashcan during In The Cut, but showed it who was boss during Yesterdays Youth. And shortly after that said hello to Jerry McGuire's girlfriend. But yeah, I like how out of all the people there, less than 10 were actually from Cleveland. Good job, guys. Even though there wasn't that many people, we made the best of it. The dudes from Columbus, Youngstown, Cincinatti, ruled. Love hanging with them dudes. But yeah, I'm glad there weren't that many people there, even though it was a GOOD free show. But a lot of douche bags weren't there, so it was just good times. Hearing AC/DC, Earth Crisis, Slayer, Beastie Boys, Black Flag and No Redeeming Social Value covers are always a good time, right? Sucks for whoever missed it. After that we all hung out for a bit in Kent.
Sunday; I was pretty much bored until about 8ish, or so. But Frank, Chops, Anthony and Tim came and grabbed me up and we went to C. Falls for some basketball. There we met up with Jeremiah, Will, Nick, Heather and Stephanie. Played a game there, then Will, Heather, Nick, Stephanie and Jeremiah went their ways. So the remainder of us went to Silver Springs to play some more balls. My God, I haven't played that hard inna while. Granted we lost both games, but we didn't play terrible. And I was pleased on my personal performance. I love hanging out with all those dudes. Hopefully it happens more often.
So all in all it was better than average weekend. Hopefully next weekend can be as good. With the show on Friday, and who knows what on Saturday or Sunday. But I know it will consist of raging, jokes, bad words and lots of yelling.
Peace, niggas.
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[23 Jun 2006|02:24am] |
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mood |
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lonely |
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It's time to rethink every fact that is imaginable.
Survival instinct dwells in a past that is inhabitable.
I happen to pull fast ones over the slow parole boards who like to speak,
To de-fanged wolves who cry sheep.
Time seeps into our skin. Age indicates how long we've been lost in space.
I keep putting expressionless looks on my face.
I'm an awful waste of human skin who waits for autumn to begin.
My fall from grace will do me in.
Too late...I'm out of seasoning.
No spring chicken summer romance novel writer could win a prize,
That's Nobel...go to hell in a writing vehicle that isn't winterized.
I've changed my mind more often than my undergarments
about abortion and other nonsense
'Cuz I'm an orphan who comes from Providence
"I AM A SIGN FROM GOD" (For the parentally misguided) and I know,
My State is not an Ocean, not an Island, not a Rhode.
If I don't know where I come from then how do I know where to go?
It's not where you're from. Not where you're at. It's where you're going...and I am going home...
"To where?" The land of the lost souls.
Feeling a loneliness that really only exists in abandoned foster homes.
How many images of missing kids can be fit onto a milk carton. Framed.
They're all starting to look the same.
They're starting to say his name and claim privileges as if they found HIM.
The strangest little kids surrounding,
The circle of false friendship rings of fire arms are connected at the elbow,
Because their tired moms unexpectedly let go.
The velcro-like component that keeps their unit cohesive,
Is the music...so we give,
Reasons to get sober. Life experiences to hum to.
These kids play Red Rover? I look for weaknesses to run through
With reckless abandon. They're standing and refuse to go down.
Pinballs in their machine bounce between abusive homes now.
If it's fight or flight they'll just choose to throw down.
Ain't nothing like beating a dead horse and riding it through a ghost town.
I move with no sound. Used to think I was invisible,
Until they stopped me mid-stride and said "I think I've seen a picture of you."
Picture that. I said, "Nah...I've just got one of those faces,
Placed next to an expiration date that changes."
I kind of look familiar. My name is on the tip of your tongue.
The lost look on my face makes you play dumb.
Say something colloquial. I need to get my bearings and a feel for where I'm at,
But you ain't hearing that.
They shout "FREEZE!" I'm a tourist trapped by townies/
Who put bounties out on me in all surrounding counties/
Before I bounce I hear them shout "Can someone help us out, please?/
We're all alone in the foster home killing ourselves with the house keys!"/
Not every broken home can come equipped with a fix-it-man,
And it's a smelly mess once the shit hits the fan.
Kids just stand in their Circle. Jerks with their dicks in the sand,
Saying, "Fuck the world!" 'Cuz they ain't got no girl, but who do they think I am?
Think again. I'm not that quick to plan ahead of time.
I'm two steps behind their schedule. They pretend to have read my mind.
I think they just misread the lines on the palm of my hand 'cause,
They're random scars caused from slap boxing with landlords.
I ran with the dogs until I realized they were all mutts,
Turn bitch once the dog catchers caught up.
Forced into trucks. Boarded up. Put to sleep in the pound.
Being an orphan sucks...but I'm sick of sneaking around.
I see my frown posted up on street lights and telephone poles.
From what they show it seems like I never get old.
From what they show it seems like I'll never go home.
And that doesn't seem right...because they won't let me grow.
This is where some go...
To avoid the sun rays and the noise of subways.
Emerging introverted, unemployed and unshaved.
I feel rewarded offering a finder's fee that I know no one will pay.
This is where some go...
To avoid the sun rays and the noise of subways.
Emerging introverted, unemployed and unshaved.
I've got multiple personalities and my inner children are runaways.
And I know
My State is not an Ocean. Not an Island. Not a Rhode.
If I don't know where I come from how will I know where to go?
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[20 Jun 2006|08:13pm] |
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Let's be serious for a second. If I give a shit about you, tell me how you feel about me. And not some lame one word answer. I need pick me ups people!
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| I can't wait for this..... |
[12 Jun 2006|01:40am] |
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mood |
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excited |
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"This is hardcore" Fest in Philadelphia, PA August 18-20th.
Terror
Blacklisted
Death Threat
Guns Up
Death Before Dishonor
Betrayed
Internal Affairs
Righteous Jams
Slumlords
Cast Aside
The First Step
Wisdom In Chains
Ceremony
Go It Alone
Like It Or Not
Think I Care
Cold World
Iron Age
Bitter End
Know The Score
Triple Threat
Meltdown
Strength For A Reason
Living Hell
Colin Of Arabia
Set To Explode
Attitude
and more tba...
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